If you find yourself being interrupted by your male counterparts at work here are a few active tips to help your voice be heard.
Last week’s NYT article about, “The universal phenomenon of men interrupting women” really hit home. We hear from many of our female clients that they struggle to be heard over their male counterparts. Seeing Senator Kamala Harris battle being interrupted by her colleagues while questioning Jeff Sessions proves no one is immune. Much ink has been devoted to dissecting why this happens. Some articles that are worth a read here, here, and here. So it’s definitely a thing. That happens a lot. What can you do?
EMPLOY SHINE THEORY.
Having your idea shot down only to have a male colleague pass it off as their own later in the same meeting = FRUSTRATING. Also sometimes referred to as “amplification”. It involves women repeating each other’s ideas during a meeting to help ensure they are heard. It also can aide in preventing other men from claiming the ideas as their own. So ladies, circle up before that next staff meeting and strategize in advance! (For more of a deep dive on Shine Theory take a listen to the interview Leah and I did with Mavenly’s Women, Work + Worth podcast.)
ESTABLISH YOUR BOUNDARY UPFRONT.
Before sharing your comment it can help to articulate your desire (and right) to finish your thought to the entire room. This will help avoid creating an uncomfortable situation by singling out the culprit in front of everyone else. This is especially helpful to have in your back pocket if you’re going into a meeting with someone who has interrupted you repeatedly in the past. Preface offering your idea with a version of the following. “I’ve been thinking a lot about this particular issue and I ask that you hear out my entire idea before responding.”
ASK FOR WHAT YOU NEED.
Chances are if you are constantly being interrupted you are not facilitating the meeting with the offender(s) in question. Find a quiet moment to speak confidently with the person who is. Communicate your frustration and ask for their help diffusing any interruptions in the moment. Sometimes we feel others should inherently understand what we need instead of explicitly asking for it. You may surprised to find your boss or team leader hadn’t even noticed the issue. Oh and people like being asked for their help.
AVOID UPSPEAK & DROPPING THE ENDS OF YOUR SENTENCES.
‘Upspeak’ refers to phrasing a declarative thought as a question. You’re essentially going up in tone at the end of your sentence when sharing a definitive opinion or idea. It’s a way we assert ourselves when we want to seem amenable and non-threatening. It’s also a surefire way to detract from your power. Conversely, dropping your volume at the end of your sentence results in the same effect (and emanates from the same place of self-doubt). Own your voice! Finish your thought with authority and conviction.
Being thrown off mid-thought is a deeply nerve wracking experience. If (or when) it happens take a moment to take a breathe, center yourself, and recalibrate your thoughts. Dwelling on the fact you were just interrupted throughout the rest of the meeting is a waste of your focus and energy. Let the moment pass (you’ll effectively deal with it later using the awesome tips you now know about above!) and soldier on. Don’t give your interrupter more power by letting them disrupt your thoughts as well.
Finally, suffering in silence helps no one-least of all you! Share your challenges with us @bespokenNY. Or drop us an a line and let us know about your experiences trying out any of the above tips.